Katica Good

Hi mum,I feel you redeemed yourself with our new relationship and I don't think you even knew you were doing it. Everyday there was some new action or care and protectiveness that undone all of your past upbringing towards me it never stopped and I never questioned it or neither was I waiting for the shoe to drop. It was real. I even got a sorry sometimes for the way I was treated (sorry and accountability really was hard for you with so much guilt you carried ... you were alway saying it can't just be me...so it was special to hear sorry from you ). There was always that strong dedication that you didn't want our relationship to ever be lke before and well it wasn't complete free of disagreements and upsets, but good enough we are human.I have no regrets or remorse over our time spent even pesky moments and the past was always in the past since I first came back into your life so we were able to work from where we are and had an understanding that what good was it going to be if we were to fight and never speak again so we made it work and we didnt need to wrestle problems of the past, it was just go forward and live.The share house wasn't an easy situation but i challenge any sibling to go back and live with their parents and see if it's smooth sailing.I feel a lightness in my heart since you left not sure why, even though I'm sad. I guess the long time gap enables you to not be so attached, clingy or possessive. When you been through struggles you tend to to see that life doesn't stop because of pain or struggles and you wouldn't want me to fall apart and not look after myself or things when your gone.I hope you transitioned ok and weren't too scared and hopefully in your new life in the spirit world you will know why I don't like to kill caterpillars and small insects...within reason... all part of God's creation. I know it amused you but I think you will understand.I not too happy that you took off sooner than expected however it is what it is. Although in looking back I had that inkling from first reconnecting the only reason I'm coming back into her life is she was going to go soon, but you held on so I thought time together would be longer. Life has its own plan how quickly you declined you were ok two days before your birthday when I visited you, then a fall and then your last days sped up.Goodbye, don't worry you redeemed yourself with me...and hopefully your religious fervour gave you some credit in the afterlife. I still remember the happiness and curiosity when you seen me the fist time after years of no contact - a genuine happiness - a real genuine mothers love happy to see their kids no matter what. I remember it as it took me by surprise - almost excited you were. Love you.Catherine